Concerning Hobbits (Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring) - Howard Shore

Guess when I had this breakfast! Hint: Can you find resemblances to a clock?

Be prepared for a long wordy post. Bits and thoughts about my recent life.
Right now the weather is a bit dull, despite the last two days being very sunny and it made me feel motivated to go outside and I don't know, go for a walk or jogging (of course I mastered my worldly appetence and didn't leave the house except for grocery shopping). But as the weather is now, I think I like it even more. My favourite weather is rain after all!


We are as it seems moving again. Man, we are moving so much, I guess even for an ambassador child it's not too uncommon. We are moving every 3.6 years, ok I guess that's not too much. This time I'm very unwilling to move and I think the main reason is, not because this is the longest time we stayed in one place, or we moved in because we planned to stay for the rest of our lives, or because I have a huge-ass room with pink-striped walls and a spacious bathroom with beautiful tiles, no, it's because my parents want to let this place. I never got attached to any place we lived so far, but this time I feel bad about leaving because I think I don't like to share. I don't want anyone to inhabit my perfect space. Even though half of the time I live in my own apartment now.
And this annoys me. Either I'm too egoistic or too attached.

Which is the 2nd thing which bothers me. I have always been attached to things I owned. Literally everything. I cherished and loved all stuffs I have and it got more and more. Lately I grew out of it. I often scan through my whole belongings and trash irrational parts or sorting them, well knowing that next time I do that, this piece is gonna say bye-bye. Now that I'm about to pack, I find so many jewellery - presents, shit I bought myself - and I throw some away, but with others, I don't know. It's so much that I still keep and I can't keep an overview of every single one. So irksome, because I don't want to move in with boxes full of nonsense.

3rd thing: Since I live in my own apartment, I developed the following habits/ found out these about myself:

• I and my room mate are super old-fashioned concerning some things. Littering on the hallway (what is up with you inconsiderate fucktards?) and noise annoyance. I don't know, but indecent persons rank on the top spots of my People Whose Death Is A Welcoming Birthday Present To Even A Stone-list.
• I hate people who walk inside the apartment without taking of their shoes! How do Americans do this? Mad disgusting, everyone should have 玄関 (genkan), so as to be forced to take off your shoes!!

starting anew, I improved in filtering out things I just own because... from useful and nice stuff. Living a bit along the lines of The Secret I started to think that keeping old stuff, that are pseudo important (let's say e.g. a document stating you aren't ready to take the so-and-so horse-riding-exam) - especially the bad ones - makes you cling to the past or hold you to the past and prevent you from moving on. So I just throw those away, when I have no reason to keep them.

I have seen the new place once. Right now we are living in a modern futuristic place, planned and build from scratch. There used to be many Americans, but as time passed everyone moved away and now it's us. I disliked everything in the beginning, the houses, the weird streets. Now as the area has developed it looks quite nice, we have strange, curved paths (they were build curved!) for people to stroll on with their dogs, and super wide cornfields with forests that seem to run until they merge with the sky. It's a peaceful, but boring place far from town. In fact I find myself thinking it resembles The Shire, somehow.
The new place is close to town but then again a whole different world. It's the last house of a small quarter and directly after that come vineyards. It's old and has a garden huger than ours now. My new room is also quite big and has a quite charming construction. The two major downsides are: it has carpeted floor and no own bathroom. I guess this will be a problem, but I'm not sure. I know how a lot of people complain about sharing bathrooms, but I never had to share mine so I don't know about this.
I don't want to furnish my room in a totally different way from now (again clinging to a pointless past?), so I'm thinking about a style that has slightly matured from the princess room appearance. As I want to keep my bed and sofa and they are both more cottage style, I want to have a grey, beige, dusted pink sort of Victorian room next. I don't plan to invest too much though, as I have my own apartment already, which is kept in a pure, white Scandinavian mood.
I wish my parents would for once let me style the new home.

My La mer Enzyme Peeling just arrived, can't wait to try it out tonight! On my face and feet(!). My feet are terrible. I have so many shits (don't know how the medical term of those are) on the sole of my feet, like cornificatin or the like (let's not get too detailed here). For a time I thought every adult gets those because feet can only carry you through life so much without sooner or later getting those uglinesses, but then I found out people actually have soft and and nice feet despite growing up Haha. I don't know who to blame for my ugly feet, but I have this theory: my feet are just too small for my body and thus when I walk the weight naturally isn't distributed evenly so I just have to end up getting ugly feet. Because I don't wear heels often, I don't wear uncomfortable shoes often, I mostly wear sneakers, flats, etc. But whatever I wear my feet get worse and worse! And it started when I was 10 when my parents made me walk more!

Oh, it's sunny again! Lately I find fashion bloggers are truly ridiculing themselves by wearing open toe/ open shin attire in the midst of winter only to show off style. It can't get really sadder right?

I'm still in a weird mood where I feel cheerful one moment and very depressed the next. Especially when going to bed my head is filled with frustration, fears and negative thoughts. Night changes many thoughts. If this is true then I find that highly interesting. At night I am dreading to sleep. Mostly it's because I don't want to be accompanied by my thoughts, but sometimes maybe it's also because I feel like I have lost a whole day doing nothing and I must catch up on the delay before a new day begins. I'm sure you all know this urge to clean up your messy room at 2am? For me at times I want to write all things in my head down into my diary, I lie in bed and feel the impulse to get up and start writing, and my head is overflowing with thoughts. Then another voice at the same time says, 'what use is this going to have? "Sleep, [...]. Sleep while you can" and safe the energy to utilize tomorrow... morning' And thus I decide to sleep.
But as I notice, writing does help me to get over some things. When I write about things, suddenly they don't seem so bad anymore. And often it is a way to finally get things out of your head.



Chu, Ailing

있다 없으니까 - SISTAR19

Enzymatic Peelings		Blackheads
Pimples	Cleansing	Moisturising & Brightening

I swear by chemicals when it comes to skincare. Be it that mother nature has some wonder ingredients down her medicine bag, isn't it that scientists take those, do some research and finally create even better stuff? No wonder, enzymatic peeling or triple oxygen cream (with an advanced form of vitamin c, has to be more potent than nature's lame lemon slices' vitamin C that breaks down faster than taking effect) instantly caught my attention. The cleansing oil from Holika Holika is said to be a magic cure working with a wonder oil to bring out blackheads effectively.
Moving on to physics with the clarisonic brush, which finally found it's way into my life when I was looking for enzymatic peelings at the drug store and got hypnotised when the saleswoman suddenly sang the brush's praise. Yay or Nay? I hesitated to buy it, because I'd feel stupid about getting one when I knew about its benefits long before but never really wanted to own one.

I still need a good toner and a serum... Any recommendations?

As of now my products are mainly by La Roche-Posay, which helped my skin visibly during even the hardest times.

• La Roche-Posay Effaclar Foaming Gel/ Etude House Baking Powder BB Deep Cleansing Foam Alternating between these two, sometimes in combination with
• Lioele Pore Deep Cleansing Brush depending on how I feel about the needs of my skin
• Yves Rocher Energizing Mask with Spanish Pomegranate or any drugstore mask to pamper my skin easily and stress-free while showering. I also exfoliate my skin with drug store products while I'm at it. If I have neither at hand I just mix lemon juice, honey and black suger into a scrub/ mask and work with that.
• La Roche-Posay Physiological Soothing Toner
• Etude House AC Clinic Gel Lotion and La Roche-Posay Effaclar Mat

Chu, Ailing

Going Home - December

Having some alone time that I try to use a bit productively by blogging what I said I'd blog. I spent a fun girly weekend with my friend and now I'm alone at my place. I love alone time, it makes me feel like I have all the time and freedom to do what I want!
Bought the Vogue, Elle (which comes in a double edition) and the Harper's Bazaar at the station and can't wait to read them. I really like the Harper's Bazaar (I guess normally you call it Bazaar, I also don't know why I'm always adding Harper's), though it's quite different from the Chinese one (normally I read that). Also my art book from マツオヒロミ (Matsuo Hiromi) arrived. Her works are so captivatingly beautiful, I adore the sultry, yet innocent look of her girls and especially cherish all the charming and lovely details in her illustrations, as I too, loved details... back then... in the old times... when I drew.

I found this very cool New Year's resolution list on Pinterest a while ago. The way to organize countless of dreams and goals into those essential categories makes it sort of true-to-life, so I thought I'd share it with you and fill it out, be it just to see where my priorities lie. A few points I didn't like so I added my own, the last 3. I gave up on resolutions last year actually, but I must admit, this one makes me a bit motivated, but I don't keep my dreams up too high, so yeah we'll see.
Does anybody out there does NY resolutions? I'd really like to know what kind of things you guys would like to change so let me know down in the comments section below (to say this youtuber-style).

the worst, really the utmost baddest habit of mine (maybe of my whole generation or humankind? ㅋㅋ) is procrastination. If I could stop that I guess I would be elsewhere by now, on Mars digging after proofs for life or by Jonghoon's side ㅋㅋ. Joking aside, I hate procrastinating so much, but mostly I can't do shit about it and it makes me so disappointed and frustrated with myself like really~ /rage So this time, please just let me do things.	A new skill? I'm not ambitious in that way, maybe improve in photography a bit? Or in cooking? Or in Korean? Or maybe even starting knitting? Well, nothing really new that I feel obliged in being able to. At some point of time or with another mindset people might feel the urge to constantly gain, but I'm at the moment in a 'deepen' phase.
hm? had I to name a person I'd want to be more like it would definitely be Queenie Chan, loving, inspired, self-believing. But generally? As in 1 I'd say just less procrastinative, more productive person. Using time wisely and aware of what I am doing.	I never felt the urge to do a good deed. I do think about being a good person, bt not in the sense of a specific landmark deed. So if this improves life quality, I guess the most concrete thing I ever thought about is maybe sponsor a child, or some pet. Or wait, is living green a good deed? If yes then going w/o plastic bags when I have other transportation means with me is a nice challenge. I do this sometimes, but not as consequently as I could.
wow this is not so easy, who give me money? I really want to go back to Singapore. Not even Japan or Korea. I absolutely must go back at some point of time and this year would be really perfect... I have talked about it with my friend earlier and we both agreed that this would be more than awesome!!	Luckily, I have a book I really want to read. I don't really read and most books I see I don't like, except for this one book. It contains works from my favourite columnist and is quite inexpensive. I just never came around to buy it! Guess it has to be this year.
people and letters la... As if everyone had people who care for them - and even if, not everyone cares for someone the 'I'd so love to receive a letter from you'-way. But I could write a letter to my grandparents though... Now that I think about it... hm~	this is one of the points I added myself. Recently I think about getting my helix pierced, twice ㅋㅋ. I wanted to do it the past few months, but didn't had the time to really inform myself about all the necessary stuffs. If piercings weren't painful or somewhat dangerous (and maybe cheaper) I'd add tragus and two piercings below my lower lip, like Berry(?) of ichigoflavour. Not sure how those are called in technical jargon~
weight-loss! been doing this for ages without any result (that lastd long enough to say so), so heck this year is the year! amen!	I don't even dare to write about this, since it's so ridiculous for me to just not have the courage to make it come true, but I swear to myself, I'll try!!

So ok, time for dinner. After that I have to pack anew and strike off again.
Chu, Ailing

COFFEE SHOP - B.A.P.

FULL SIZE

A few little somethings I'd like to add to my summer wardrobe!
Inspired by Cy I thought it might be good idea to make a list of items I really am missing, else I spend another year of never owning them, but a bunch of other stuff I actually don't really need. Though I have the feeling that it isn't complete, I'd say I could do with just those.

1. A flattering lose-fit soft fabric tee in a neutral colour, preferably with a little pocket. How long has this been on my wish list? I just want something casual that'll still look effortlessly good
2. Stripes all the way please! What is this about stripes? At the same time classic, but still a bit playful? I don't know, they are so cute!
3. Is there an official fashion term for those yet? Boyfriend shorts? Oversized shorts? Diaper shorts? I know they aren't exactly knew, but I noticed I don't own any pair of denim shorts... can't miss out on that basic, right?
4. Birkenstocks! Haha... when the hyung told me about his (I didn't even recognize his fancy pair as such), I was giving him patronising praises at first, but ever since then.. I kinda tasted blood. I'd even wear them with socks!! Somehow I find the purely slip-in design a bit too slipper-ish (makes any sense?) so I thought the ones with a strap at the back were more street appropriate (I know, I know, buy already then buy real one), but I'm also kinda afraid I will just slip out of the shoe, especially if I run to catch the train
5. Nude sandals! Lately, I love everything nude-toned! Especially on feet I feel nude leather is very pretty and elegant. It is very hard to find a pair like this, I searched the whole wide web, but this is the only pair with chunky sole and appropriate design and width of straps I found! The American Apparel version of this unfortunately has a wooden heel! /sigh life can be so cruel

I reckon deciding on what things to buy in advance saves you a lot of time and trouble during shopping, so I should do this more often!
Apropos, I have already compiled a list like this with skincare products, stay tuned, I command you.

Chu, Ailing

Gone with the Wind (Main Title)

A little story to fill in the blank. I have often thought about the matter and came to the conclusion that actually I am quite a nice person. Concerning some aspects I'm so nice and caring I become a creep. Like I do leave random heartfelt messages for internet people. Call me retarded, sometimes I can't help it and then I write unnecessary crap at other persons' blog.
But often it's the other way round that I can't help it, I see something which drives me crazy and I just snap and leave behind that nasty comment. So some days ago...


I was scrolling through my Pinterest board:

source

I thought the little white planner was cute so I went to the source of this image to check if there was any information about it. This is how I found this is glamorous and her instagram. She posted 3 photos in total (1, 2, 3) with this little planner in them and each post had a good amount of people asking where she got it from.
Of course she didn't reply, of course I wouldn't give two flying fucks, if she hadn't replied to other people about where to get other items from that were also in her pictures and if those items weren't coincidentally from her own shop and if she didn't had a followership of some 30,000+ in instagram alone.

You know, you can be any random ass to 10 people or to 100 people. You can pretend to overlook strange peoples' questions, because who are they to you?
But you cannot as a person with a certain status or popular identity ignore all the inquiries of your followers and at the same time demonstrate what a money-grubbing jerk you are!

First of all, the followers made you who you are, so it is not that all-the-same whether you answer their questions or not. Secondly, you either act like the nice person everyone thinks you are (and have them follow you because of that) or you don't, but then don't expect anyone to like your stuff!
Seriously, promoting one's own stuff and at the same time turn a deaf ear to everything else just screams, 'hey, look at me, I'm a dumb hypocrite!'
And when you think about it, what does it actually matter if eventually a handful of people buy the same planner as she owns herself.
Will her earnings drop because the chance that those people will buy sth from her shop after obtaining that planner decrease?
Or does nobody have the right to have such a fabulous planner as Her Glamorousness? Either way, what an incredible dick!

Anyway, so that evening I snapped and left a comment under the IG picture above, just because she needs a mirror that shows her how dumb her behaviour is and this is what followed:

Me: I love people like that, like 'hey I'm gonna start a blog to share things, but not things people want to know'
Sb: *some sort of approving comment* What a shame as she is at least losing one of her followers due to her unwillingness to share such a trivial detail.*
Me: dumb people are dumb /shrugs

I don't remember the exact wording of the comment of this person who replied to me, because

The next day she, ok her name is Roséline Lohr, hereafter R., deleted our little convo, because this is not a free world and we don't accept criticism.
But she answered one single person with the information about where she got the planner from after all ('@smnthq it's by aspinal of london, but unfortunately no longer available x'). One person tagged in a week-old instagram post, because that's the best way to ensure that everyone who asked (also those in the more recent posts) will get their answer and it's really a proper way to react to such criticism. (Not that there was any reason to do this before of course) Congratulations!

And on top of that, R. privated her instagram! I know you can still view the images I have linked (I also don't know how, is that a bug, or is instagram just too stupid to hide privated posts?), but if you visit her profile, it says 'no photos to show' (in the app it will say privated). A grown-up woman who isn't able to handle justified criticism, now this is someone who deserves all the readers.
Everytime something like that happens, I'm thinking, 'did I actually hurt that person's feelings?? geez, people are such crybabies these days' But even so, in the end, I can't say that I said sth untrue or unjust so I got that going for me, which is nice.



Why such a little story made it to a blog post? Because dumb people deserve to burn in hell!! Because illogical behaviour is crap and because what she did was plain ridiculous and just not right!

Chu, Ailing

P/s: R accidently followed and unfollowed me on twitter after that, but I guess she wanted to click the 'block'-button but missed?

乱舞のメロディ - SID

Today good day, because I shower earlier and my skin really(!) soft la! Also I write this on PC, so at least can share music one (image and usual layout also cannot, because I'm kinda hurrying this). Lately, my mood very up and down one!
So, lately I take good care of my skin to get rid of the pimples and the red spots that I get after one subsides. Means I also very enthu about finding new skincare products and I discovered quite a few I want to try out. I want to share with you later!
During the holidays I finally want to go see beautician to get my blackheads removed! I swear I got sibeh many my whole face is more blackheads than skin! I guess I have to at least see her 10 times and 10 times look like I just got hit in the face. But oh well, now or never.

My cousin and I forever planned to finally get our hair done, mine is super straight by now (but still nowhere near long) so I really need to get a digital perm. At first we wanted to go to Czech actually (I also don't know why Asians are so nuts on Praha), but then somehow we settled for Berlin. And I have to go, I will rot here if not. I look forward to the shopping!!


Two secondary arenas:

today suddenly as I randomly stalk them prossies next door (such is my nature) I very excited to find out some tall cops were visiting them. Unfortunately I never hear what's been going on, but when they left one say, 'You guys take care of 1st floor, right?'. Then after a while some more policemen came wearing neon vests. I also never get what was their business, they asked for the nationality of one of them. And upon leaving one of the cops say, 'She had already got her hopes up'. Later when my room mate came home, she say eight big police cars were parked in front of our building.
We both v sad they never question us, because we have many interesting and important stories to tell:
- their johns also v dirty la! everytime come leave all the garbage in front of our door and at the hallway la! sibeh annoying cannot arrest please! everything sibeh dirty can!
- also the guy above us confirm do the drugs la! 1am still listen to radio! alamak how can we sleep like that horh! you go la and arrest can, aiyo 4.30 in the morning turn on radio liao, very the buay paiseh

til now I don't like to listen to music on public transport because it makes me miss important announcements in the past, which is really annoying. But the other day I found out it can be quite useful also: So I happen to carry luggage with me and stood at the back door of the bus. At some stop the door opened and I had to move my luggage cuz it blocked the door at first, but no one who wants to exit or enter anyway. Then I hear some old, ugly, handicapped woman in electronic wheelchair complain about me not letting anybody pass (or so, I didn't really hear what she say). My reaction: unfazed, never even turn into her direction, like a boss.
So in the end, it is quite useful for having an excuse to ignore bitter and ugly people's superfluous yadda.

Chu, Ailing