Coffee Shop - BAP

1st Nov, my favourite month has begun!
The whole purpose of this post is to celebrate ㅋㅋㅋhahaha
(Yesterday's cheat day dins in the pic)


I like November because it's damn dark and miserable.
The days become friggin' short, there's frost, fog and that depressing, piercing cold drizzle (I wish, todays was sunny as hell).
It's the long, void month before Christmas season and I guess the last opportunity for people to realize that they are finally stepping into the long, cold winter. It just makes people fall into despair!!


On the other side, I like how the coldness makes the warmth much more precious, giving it a therapeutic and symbolic character, of love, piece and safety.
That's why I love holidays like Hallowe'en or St. Martin's Day, they are all about gathering about light. I dunno, it creates such a cozy feeling.



On a sidenote I especially like early winter times in old England. There's something that fascinates me about the life there back then. I must ellaborate and bore you with this subject one day.



Not to forget, it's my birthday month. I celebrate myself in the midth of the dark hahaha
When I was younger I hated being born in November. It would have felt much more girly-girl-isher and princess-like if I was born in Spring or Summer, right?
I really thought I was at a huge disadvantage for being a boring autumn child and less worthy than my classmates who were borin in April or July ㅋ

Omg my whole beautiful post was just killed like that FML

And I'm back again after spending a whee time back at home and am on my way to my place again.

Why do days go by so fast - whether you do something or not?
I think the difference between a little kid experiencing a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month or a year - seriously didn't everything last an eternity back then - is because they experience everything with a greater intensity.

Let me explain: Imagine you were a samurai in the middle of a fight facing your most able arch foe. You stumble, fall backwards and see his katana coming nearer and nearer. Doesn't this second feel like it would never end?
Or picture yourself jumping off a bridge. While falling down only takes a little more than the blink off an eye, you experience it all like it was slowmo.

So if we were able to see the world through a child's eye, wouldn't that mean that we were able to have those never ending hours and life-long years back? If we could just be so curious, interested and look at the world with the same wonder.

And doesn't this all also speak for an inexhaustible positive energy and joyful outlook on life? Where did it all go?

Alas, a train is but a train. A ticket vending machine as best a nerv-killing Stone Age apparatus with lagging and most insensitive touch screen doing its best at pretending us from reaching the train in time. And the buttons that open train doors are - if one would exhaust one's fantasy - maybe his little brother.

I really want to be more observant of my environment. To spend every instance of my life with greater awareness.
I think that world help in being more productive and embracing life (without that burn-out fear lurking around the corner).

The only reason - I swear - why I'm blogging is because I'm sitting under the rain, listening to soothing jazz, parked next to a graveyard, waiting for my mother.
That and maybe because I had planned to blog this like lightyears ago

(I am fully aware that a 'lightyear' is a unit of distance)

.

Do you know what 'sloth' is?
It's the short form for 'self-loath'.

A sloth is fuckass lazy, which results in him hating himself. Still, as much as he hates his iddleness, he can't be arsed to be in any way productive, which results in hating himself more.

Sounds like me.

I'm swaying back and forth between completely uninspired and over-enthu...ingly planning to change like maybe tomorrow... or so.
Goddamit wtf

Anyway I'm going to make a delicious pumpkin soup later #pumpkinseason with poached pears #poachedpearsftw
And cooking is something right? /throws herself into the graveyard

No, I really like cooking.
I made a chicken pie for my mother's birthday.
And I want to cook for myself more and experiment in the kitchen a little.
But I also need to save money, I want to get a bombdiggity hell-of-a carpet for my parents on Christmas. 400+ god bless my soul

The pic is from 1+ year ago, do you understand me?

How is procrastinating so.... I don't know.. hard to stop once you start?
I don't mind doing homework regularly when I'm doing it, but when I'm not doing it, I can't.



Like now....


So, we are moving... again. This is the 7th time? (didn't I count 7 times last time I checked?)
Anyway, so yeah, but this is probably the last time.


As always I'm super excited to decorate the new home, but this time (as I matured haha) I try to incorporate my parents' personal style (as far as they have one) into my concepts and also I tried to find a decor for me that would last for a long time.
I came to the conclusion that I wanted an ecclectic, English country, exotic mix for my parents and an ecclectic, boho, Scandinavian something for myself. This my sound impossible to create, but since when have I ever chosen to easy way.

As a true design freak, I have already planned through the complete hallway from door to plants, and the guest toilet (and part of the garden and the front yard and gate).
When it comes to design I'm a terrible absolute perfectionist, everything has to be perfect, I don't compromise (see my waste basket, around 60 bucks). I'd rather spent some extra bucks for a door knob then living with an ugly one, or if I can't find any that I like, then screw the door knob, better live w/o it.


Anw, moving is really fun, I hope everything turns out how I want it!!!

Firstly, I noticed that I really like photography, but I'm not any good.
I don't have an eye for the right motif (let alone lightning or whatever). I never seem to be able to capture the things the way I want them, I never get the angle right.

I guess I need more practice. But I don't often have the opportunity, too.



I had a talk about my problem of the last 2 posts before the last.
It is terrifying.

To think that you are condemned to a fucking stupid life that you hated since the beginning, but you don't dare to make a move and that's even your own fault.
No, it's sad, and I wouldn't want anyone to have to put up with such a prospect.

You constantly try to break out, but only so much, the most important and biggest move, without which everything else is useless, you just can't do.
And so everyday you face the very fate you absolutely fear most, fears of failure all the way and you need to drag along one more burden, which only holds you back... and you are stick with it for th rest of your life?


And then we thought of the friends of that person. Like why?
Obviously they must see the pain? Why do they chose to pretent like everything is rosy? I just can't....
Best friends they call each other, yet this one black cloud nobody wants to see.
Why?


It's so sad.
Although some things I absolutely don't like about this person, I think he is actually a good human. Who doesn't deserve any of this.
If at least his friends were not so ignorant, I don't get what their purpose is.

I refuse to understand it.
Nothing excuses such a situation.



I hope these are my last words about this topic for the time being.
One day I will say it right into his face.

I have done a German blog, but came back to blog some things here.
I wonder if it's my imagination or if my German writing is really disgustingly fake, lame and just wrong.
Or maybe I'm just not used to write German and thus I can't do it.

Writing in English just feels more right for me.



Three songs I really like this moment.

Baby don't cry (人鱼的眼泪)

This one is a pretty old song by EXO-M.
I don't know, but when there are Korean and Chinese versions of songs, I normally prefer the Chinese version.

可惜沒如果

Ok the MV is weird and I haven't really watched it yet, but the song is so cool. I actually never liked a song by JJ Lin, cuz somehow they all sound like the same love-sick shit.
But this one sounds a bit different and the lyrics are the story of my life (a bit).

假如没把一切说破
那一场小风波 将一笑带过

在感情面前 讲什么自我
要得过且过 才好过

全都怪我
不该沉默时沉默 该勇敢时软弱

我還是愛著你

This has been in the charts for forever and I like it from the start, but never really got into listening to it very much. Until now. MP are not really my kind of thing when it comes to there fashion, but I like this song very much..



I like how Cpop is still relatively conservative so you don't get things like idk whatever (some) Americans are doing.
Also most songs stay in the charts for a very long time, which is a further indication for their quality.