Spending all my time - Perfume

A first day back to the gym. It's only a trial session. But I guess it's settled that I get me another membership.
I should have an overall wish to stay fit and treat my body well for the rest of my life beyond just wanting to lose weight right now!
I only hope that the instructor will be totally normal. No weirdo~ /cringes


And because of that, I gonna have proper breakfast today. I don't want to faint or nearly faint at the gym ww
I even bought a protein bar in case I'll feel dizzy~ I actually need sugar, but protein bars are more gym appropriate than s'mores or cotton candy.

Btw you know what? I get satisfaction from watching porn!!!!
FOOD PORN wwww
I don't know how, but seeing amazing food pics on pinterest awakens only minimal cravings but more like oh so yum, I gonna cook that (for my family) once I reach my UGW- thoughts. I could browse through pinterest forever for these and still don't feel anything... I have reached food Nirvana! Buddha would be so proud.
Also because I don't feel no fucking hungry. Whole day no eat? Where' the problem... (I know I have mentioned this before, but it's to amazing to not say it a 2nd and 3rd and nth time)


I went browsing my tumblr yesterday (used to be some thinspo/ weight-loss diary) and find that it's funny to have a food diary and look back at it, so I'm going to resume that here.

About yesterday's food:

You probably won't hv noticed but until now, every line breaks begins with A or I #amazeballs

'BINGE' DAY 2

IN
DanActive 1 bottle 71
Mars bar 1 229
low-carb bread 1 slice 132
cream cheese 13
chicken breast 2 slices 26x2
strawberries with lots of sugar
onion/ham stick 1 405
TOTAL 902+

OUT
/

902+

COMMENT
WTF SO MUCH ww
If I allow myself one spluge per day then wtf are the strawberries (with lots of sugar) and that ham stick doing in the list...
Luckily I still lose the normal amount of weight..

I will add today's IN and OUT this evening after dinner and gym.
I try to spread my meals throughout the day to trick my body into thinking that there's always energy coming in, so it won't go on starving mode and store every atom of food I eat.

1st GYM DAY IN A LONG TIME

IN
raspberry - blueberry parfait 104 + 21.25 + 26.25 + 170
candy 108
low-carb bread 1 slice 132
cream cheese 13
chicken breast 2 slices 26x2
ice cream 149
TOTAL 775+

OUT
training 153
crosstrainer 589
TOTAL 742

33

COMMENT
Seriously ice cream?
Candy?
Now that's what I call ruining one's own work... scumbag brain la!
Well, nevertheless, pleasantly surprised...

Back from the gym after a shower/bath. Just had dinner and after that ice cream (thanks brain, again) still my intake today is really little, so please... let me wake up with my GW1 tomorrow!!
The guy at the gym was super over enthu, sunnyboy smile and all, I hate guys like that... You never know if they are serious... And there are really too many guys around...
But I guess I have to go through~


That's it for today! Tomorrow is eventful day!
Chu, Ailing

たく！ the bus arrive too late and nobody has a clue abt what's going on... they actually hv my phone number to contact me when sth goes wrong, bt I nvr receive a message la...

anw today A. and I wanted to fool around a bit and tricked our friends into believing that we're back in sgp already.
bt then everything went wrong and they invite us to bday preparation meeting (sth like that?)
and everything turned out really awkward and we felt super bad www bt anyways so nice for them to still care so much ww
it will be a blast when we are finally finally back!!


so abt ytd I ate NTH and my hunger lvl this morning NTH
sth wrong w my body lar... bt still feel kinda weak so I snacked some candy ww

and just now I wanted to meet with hyung at Starbucks and I arrive on hour too early wtf!!
I dunno how ytd I type 3시 instead of 2 and nvr realize.. cheehh...

so I ordered tea first when waiting in order to get a hot chocolate later on, bt in the end only tea (with sugar)....
so today de intake still ok www

Later on J and I went to watch Spider Man SPOILER ALERT and the movie is actually good and all, but it's goddamn long-wided... like they could have make the movie half as long with as much tension, love and interesting story line. But now... everything took ten times longer because they had to add 100s of trivial events, etc...
But I really liked the Harry guy (taipuu ding ding ding!!!), so for me it was clear from the first second he appeared that he would turn evil... Oh the curse of rich, arrogant ikemen~ And his hair was just awesome, too www
Absolute fitting for a cocky, rich brat www... Alas~

OMFG I just googled it and the previous Harry Osborn was so disgusting WTF they picked curly, blonde beau /vomits
Walao too disgusting cannot talk about this anymore....
OMFG #2 people actually made pictures to compare the current Harry actor with Lenoardo di Caprio www I had exactly the same thought, they both have (had in the case of Leo) this fragile, sinister ikemen vibe~

anyway I'm happy the bitch died...


Today we want to go have dinner at a Japanese tapas bar, it's like fusion kitchen of tapas and sushi! Yum, I gonna feast like mad. Fuck this diet WW... (but seriously, like this cannot reach dw EVER)
I wanted to try this place out for a long time, but never got around to go... Now I finally have the chance to www
I will bring my camera (YES I got it back) and snap pics to share later on.

Tomorrow we want to go to adidas sample sale~ Please let there be lots of cheap and pretty stuff so I can gear up on sports clothes to finally get my ass moving (will not happen, but still~ w)


Ok, I get ready for dins now...bb
Chu, Ailing

Baby It's You - June

Things I want at the moment

• a decent gym (and nice training clothes www)
• a Vesta or Harley Davidson
• my dream weight

I just want a gym that offers Pilates or yoga or a combination, but no, got nothing like that near my house... /saddened
Ah the struggle www


And the Vesta/ Harley Davidson thing is very random. I always liked bikes and if I could ever drive those it would prove to myself that I'm not a wimp ww But I am. Car driving I hate already... And when I see people learning how to drive a motorbike I get the creeps just by watching ww
I like Vesta because they look really vintage and have this freedom feel to them... My cousin has a pink one (with Hello Kitty seat cover w). And Harley Davidson because that would be the ultimate bad-ass symbol.


Yes, yes I know my posts are super random and pointless, but I just have the urge to write everything down!
About my dream weight.. Would that scale be here I could at least know how far I am from it, but alas it comes but tomorrow...

it's tomorrow by now

In case anyone's interested: instead of studying I watched like 13 eps of 黒子のバスケ ytd .･ヾ(。￣□￣)ﾂ
I like Aomine, Tatsuya, Kagami and Kise! And I hate the stupid pervert glasses guy of Aomine, the two murder idiots, Alex and Kuroko!
Talking about Tatsuya's seiyuu ytd somehow led me to promising to watching Free!. HiAZz I gave it too easily. What I saw from Free! til now was not very promising. So I figured Haruka (please let that be his name~) is the protagonist and his character ist just... duh!? And then the Makoto (I even knew who this was by myself) guy is double pointless, the little boy absolute annoying and Rin (that one I also myself know, cuz he closest to my type) has the same mouth as inspector Yamamura WTF !!! what's going on with ikemen these days?!
In 黒子のバスケ, too the only obviously 100% ikemen is Tatsuya and he is like supporting side character only! Even Kise the beau is not ikemen... And Aomine and Taiga are only ikemen because of their personality (and ok-looks...)

Still have 4 eps to go... After that Free! (or not ww)



Today weather is super bright and warm and sunny and it makes me feel very Japanese! (Yes you read that right)
I've got the song 旅立つキミへ stuck in my head all day, cherry blossoms and all! BUT I HATE CHERRY BLOSSOMS!
Yes, I decided it's official, I hate pink flowers on trees.... I don't know how it's beautiful, it just seems to be spam to me...
Right now I can't even remember if I ever found them really breathtakingly picturesque at any point of time, but now I just think, ok it must be very refreshing and invigorating to see the streets decked in colours after a long grey winter and that's it.
The cherry blossoms itself, I hate...
Nevertheless I like the song very much!!


So after coming home from lab afternoon, I felt v tired and my room was incredibly hot because of the sun!
I went to fetch my scale somemore and it's..... hidoi.... but I'm not going to return it, because I also can't help it if the world consists of only ugly scale desginers wtf!
Anyway I still haven't reached my 1st gw (goal-weight in anorexic/ thinspo lingo), still need 0.8kg/ 1.76lb. Yet I'm still surprised.... Haven't been this skinny in a long long time..
My BMI now 19.... I need to lose a few more pounds... Ok more than a few...

That is also because ytd I (

how do you call this

) binged www Ok I had two maoam packs and like 2 fat slices of breads. Even so, the day before I only had one pack of maoams (I'm so ridiculous I know www).

It is better if I stay outside a lot (aka school) because at home I often eat out of boredom (in school when bored at least cannot eat) and outside I'm just not hungry because I constantly have sth to do.


Nah, anyway, I'm tired now, because I old lar.... I end this post here now.
(if now I seriously nap then need bitch slap pls.. thanks ar)

EDIT Didn't sleep, but went to take a bath!
Recently I, too, like to live very dangerously and use phone while I lie in the bathtub www Til now nothing happen (of course) but maybe some day will? ww

After that I feel a bit refreshed and now I study a bit.
Yesterday I was v angry w my parents. I notice that recently I get very upset when people suddenly change plans.
This is because I try to plan things that will make everyone have an enjoyable time according to people's plans, but when they suddenly change them, all my thoughtful thinking was in vain and it appears as everyone shit on my niceness /sobs /condemns the heavens

But now everything is OK and yeah just wanted to add this. kthxbye

Chu, Ailing