Sentimental♥ - 서로

Would I be a more conventional kind of human this post would have been named Berlin Part 1. I also can't say that this was the obligatory annual summer vacation trip, haven't had any of these for years (at least it feels like that). So instead we went on a Summer 13 CY BDAY Trip. Last time I celebrated her birthday with her was when we were 11 or 10 I think. Being born in summer has the disadvantage of many friends being on holidays, so yeah... I actually have been away on her birthdays for almost as long as we know each other (^-^*)
We also recently noticed that most of the time we spend together is on public transport! Be it train, tube/subway, plane we always hang out on those kind of chic venues. Must be the reason why we are tired all the time, too - always on the move honestly.

Anyway, I can finally tick Berlin off my bucket list! Ok I have been to this city for several times already, but never really exploring it for myself. Now that I have wandered through it by myself I feel more or less satisfied with the sightseeing shopping/eating experience I had there. We managed to see a good amount of the important sights under the motto Don't Culture Me (What's Checkpoint Charlie btw?)

What I can tell you is that the guy working at Makoto has a really スケ~~ voice. Like really.


Chu, Ailing

술 - Fly To The Sky

What I honestly admire about others is their ability to judge food. For me it seems to be such an impossible task as to distinguish the whisper of trees. That is to say, I almost like every kind of food and if I didn't like it, I wouldn't notice it until someone looks into my eyes and slowly says, 'the - noodles - are - still - uncooked' - '...now that you say it....'
I find that pretty sad, but with some things I'm kinda unobservative. Still, I don't lack personal eating preferences, it's quite the contrary. I somehow have a quite unusual taste: I hate egg yolk, grilled meat, chocolate, pork - and I know the flavor 'earth' and 'carpet'. (My favorite fast food are fries and cheesburger though...)

So, I think having so delicate a tongue is quite impressive, but at the same time, it's seems to be such a mainstream, act-sophisticated behaviour. The internet is flooded with food pics and everywhere people claim about the salad being not tender enough or having found a place where the noodles are even more juicy than place B (sth like that ㅋㅋ). It is in my oppinion weird that out of all things that people have achieved in industrial countries, a strongly refined perception of food is so popular and admireable and in fact viewn as a trait of higher life. One would think that further cultivated people prefer concentrating on other things to something as materialistic as food. It doesn't seem too different from a Stone Age savage getting ecstatic over an unkown species of slimy mushrooms.

Why don't we all get horny over big breasted women and well-hung men as well? With that said, who wants see an ikemen pic I shot of one of the oppas?
I have another one with full face, but I don't really like to reveal identities on this blog, so... maybe if someone desperately needs to see it.



Chu, Ailing

P/S I do like food pics nevertheless

Be With You - 清水 翔太 ft Joe

Noticed that I haven't been updating much about my life recently (not that I ever did). The thing is, my life is pretty event-less and I don't like to talk about future things either, as it's really stupid to announce that you are going to marry Jonghoon next month and then one day before the wedding you find out that you're a stone and he's the sun, and you two will never be able to be with each other (or sth similar).

With that said - there are some semi-big things in the pipeline and if those are going to work out as intended, I will start to vlog a bit.
I'm saying semi-big because it's totally not my dream thing to happen, but it goes into the same direction


But I think vlogging will be fun, because normally I'm a very reserved (ok, let's face the truth - people-hating) person and don't like to take part in sociality too much. And I think my voice is like men's voice. And I have issues with the face I own.
But I still want to do it, I just have to buy a virus mask and I actually know which one is just the perfect one. Sakun's super slick trademark monster mouth mask. Since when do I want to have that mask? I don't remember, but it's been some years. There are many others stuff from Sakun that I like, but this mask is really the real thing.
I guess I have to buy a cute one, too, because this mask doesn't really go along with my homewear stuff



I did blog about having caught some terrible skin desease right? Well, to keep things realistic, it's just that my skin got some terrible sort of allergic reaction to sth (my cousin's bunnies I think) and since then it has never been the same...

First I had super many zystic sort of spots all over my cheeks, that turned into horror-acne, which has only gotten a bit milder towards the end. And the whole time my face was super red. But after the acne has gotten slightly better I got little bumps all over my face. They were sort of small so they can't be seen under certain light, but neverthelesss it was super annoying. I felt like I had gotten the plague or sth.
Eventually I got Epiduo prescribed and I have been using it for about 2 weeks (?). Epiduo is an acne-treating gel which works with benzoyl peroxide (and adapalene). As you might or might not know peroxide has a bleaching ability (Epiduo can even bleach hair and clothes) and the gel also has some scaling effects. So at first when I used it, my skin became super dry, I had gross, large patches of dry skin all around my chin and jaw bones (where I used most of it, since my bumps where concentrating on that area) and my skin really stinged after I applied it. Plus it got worse and the bumps increased and spread up to my cheeks.
I then realized that I might have used too much of the gel and now I'm using what I imagine is the recommended pea-sized amount. What's funny is that, since the gel has bleaching effects, I now have to leave the house completely covered up with large sunnies, broad-brimmed hats and how about a virus mask? Would look super weird, but it somehow makes me feel so Asian. I mean - avoiding the sun like crazy is Asian, so I like it ㅎㅎ

Anyways now that I use less of the gel, the bumps have gotten slightly better, too. The problem is I don't know if that's my skin's condition improving (from multiplying, spreading bumps to less bumps) or being as horrible as before (bumps), because while I used too much of the gel I didn't get any new pimples, but now I get those again .

my skincare produtcs atm, apparently blue and green are the colors to go for if you want acne treatment
++ my mother stole my camera that's why the crappy pic, I might retake it with my cam once I find it and label the items if anyone is interested ++

The reason why I blogged about this is I super love the idea of things slowly getting better, I'm sort of romantic, blue-eyed, naive and utopian when it comes to such things.
I hope that one day I can have the fair, even 얼짱 skin OTL.


Chu, Ailing

P/S I somehow feel super uncomfortable with a describtive title like this ㅠ

사랑의 시 - 4Men

I'm actually totally not in the mood for colorful summer pictures and everything, but I don't want to be a spoilsport either (not that anyone would care ).
Also I have like a million of other things going on in my life just now and enough topics to think about, but this is one of them and I need to get this cleared, too, so why not post about it.

This is another issue of my αʹ☆ｚｉｌｌｉｏｎ line, which basically are just lists of things about me
Today's subject: αʹ☆ｚｉｌｌｉｏｎ of appearance-related complexes

I actually developed many complexes over the years, which all concern outer appearance. Now that I think about it, I don't have any other complexes related to mental problems... What's typical of my complexes is they mostly concern features that I dislike about myself. And so I automatically scan those features on others first, before I pay attention to anything else. I might even hate them on others more than on myself.

Chronologically listed:

1. face shape what really triggered this is Korean v-line obsession I think. what created the basis is my mother.
   
   She has a super square face, which partly comes from her genes I think, plus she's also grinding her teeth. And when I was younger, or maybe even now, she would tease me by saying 'oh, what a square face you have!' or 'why is your face so squaare?' I didn't really mind, because I always thought she wanted to allege that I'm fat. Now, if she'd say it, I also wouldn't take her too serious, because luckily I'm Asian, but my face is actually rather v-shape (although still quite wide)
   
   
2. fat lips trigger: an allkpop post about Niel's sausage lips. basis: my parents
   
   Ok, so also when I was younger, both my parents would always tease me about my fat lips, which I got from my father (although his lips aren't really fat). Especially when I woke up, they'd make fun of me by saying that I have the biggest pout ever. I didn't give a damn about those comments back then until I read this stupid allkpop article. I then thought that boys aren't suppose to have fat lips and that's how it started. Whenever I see boys w fuller lips it gets very hard for me to like them, e.g. Exo's Kai, Shinee's Taemin, TVXQ's Changmin (ok someone has a SME issue). (my father used to resemble Changmin when he was younger btw) I don't really know if I should like them on girls, though. Most people think it's sexy, so I'm kinda saying to myself, that it's a cool thing. But then again, I kinda hate them, too.
   
   
3. eyebrows trigger: Korean eyebrows. basis: none
   
   so this has to be my biggest complexe! I absolutely hate it when people don't have neat eyebrows. And I semi-absolutely hate it when woman have super angular eyebrows (like most Westeners have).
   I think in the very beginning I thought super triangular eyebrows just make you look like a bitch. Therefore I called them 'bitch eyebrows'. It was one of the things I hated about this world. There are people who hate prostitution other detest injustice, well as for me it's bitch eyebrows. But at that time, it was just hatred.
   I noticed at some point of time that Koreans don't pay attention to their eyebrows at all and that they just look like fresh out of Stone Age, but I didn't really care about how eyebrows affect your face at all and it was just this insignificant observation. Then suddenly Koreans started to shape their brows without me really noticing and I saw my first Korean eyebrow tutorial. I loved it! But I didn't care that much about my own eyebrows until my friend said that she thinks short (Korean) eyebrows make your eyes bigger.
   Around that time I looked at my own eyebrows and noticed, 'Hey, I have none!' (inherited from my father as well, but can't complain, I also inherited hairless legs from him).
   My current state is: a) I wish I had more eyebrows so that I wouldn't look so plain and harsh. b) Men who have neglected, overgrown eyebrows are horrible (I don't want men to really plug them obviously, but male idols have nice eyebrows w/o looking artificial, too). c) Women with rank growth eyebrows are horrible, but I find it worse on men somehow.
   Recently, I have been thinking about shaving my eyebrows completely away, to see if they'll grow back thicker, but I heard that sometimes they won't grow back ever again, so I guess I have to live w my sparse upper eye hairs
   
   
4. hands/fingers trigger: none basis: my mother
   
   I don't know at what time I got that, but my mother is kind of Asian aristocrat, so she always pays a lot of attention to (female) hands. And hers a quite nice, and mine are, too. But you know, the more you pride yourself on sth, the more likely you are to criticize it or talk it down. Like you create a painting which you find absolutely perfect, but hmm - there, this cloud it could have a more harmonic shape to blend more beautifully with the sky.
   So what I find really uncool about my hands is that lately my veins pop out look construction worker hands lah! And my hands are freaking white and my veins are fat and blue Also my fingers are not slender, but they are thicker were the joints are like the Elder Wand and I find it absolutely un-pretty, I tell ya. I once looked up the meaning of that palmistry-wise and it's not bad (I think), but I still hate them.
   So when I see idols with ugly hands I get friggin agressive (on the inside ) and rail against my fate for not being an idol with so much prettier hands

I used to have a leg-related complexe which caused me to always compare unknown women's legs That pretty much went away, I still dislike my legs, but it's nothing like the problems I mentioned above

Ok, so that's it... My parents appear like devils who push all their expectations and dreams onto their kids (which isn't so entirely wrong) and therefore ruined my young life


Chu, Ailing

this video is related to break-ups and it's from my idol Queenie Chan. i love her very much and feel that this is very inspiring. will blog abt her some day

This is about my friend and her kareshi, about whom I have wrote several times already. The kareshi will from now on go by the alias aniki.
Would you stay with someone who treats everyone like air whenever they have some sporadic problem? A person who goes offline when messaged? A person who switches off their phone when called? A person who deals with life like a game, whenever they feel like it they go mia like it's nobody's business and then when they want, they show up again? And this happens every other day.

I say NO. And not only because of some immediate consequences. ALL of them could be forgiven, forgotten even accepted if there was just a chance that he would change. Until that time you could love with him with 1000s of forgivingness with unending patience, without expectations, while he gradually starts to appreciate you.
If I saw that the aniki could be different some day, if I could imagine them as a happy (married) couple in the future, I had no worries if I encouraged her to be indulgent with him. But I can't imagine it, I can't see him changing.


He hasn't reacted to any of her tries to contact him for days. He just vanished like that. And to fill you in, he has problems getting this job that he wants and has just wrote a test in order to apply for this job.
And I understand that he feels frustrated, desperate, is too afraid to face his failure and feels lost about the future. I understand that you want to repress such bad experiences, that you want to push them away, that you don't dare to admit them to others.
But your loved ones they care about you, right? They absolutely have the right to know what is going on!

And as a son, a brother and a lover you aren't supossed to let others worry themselves sick because of your selfishness.


What I'm talking about is not only this time, where at least he could have a sensible reason for disappearing from the scene (he could have another girl, too, what? - de facto, we don't know wtf is the matter), it's that he vanishes whenever he feels like it. He senses that you want to have a serious talk, he's gone. And won't reappear until he feels like it again. Is this the behaviour of a person who deserves your love?
He treats his parents and siblings just like that. The closer you get to him, the more he isolates himself. How would you live with someone like that? How can you be sure that he won't also dump you like a drag someday?
How do you imagine a future with him, when you can be sure that situations like this will repeat themselves countlessly in the time to come? How can you stay with someone who won't talk about problems, but even reacts agressively if you want to approach something? As a (married) couple there will be enough problems about random, trivial nonsense even without his extra selfish problem-making.

But as I said all those could be taken as a sacrifice for a happy future if you could help him. But he doesn't want your help, he doesn't want you.
He only sees himself once he meets an obstacle. He behaves like there's noone else except him. You can't be there for him, because he doesn't give two flying fucks about your care, your worry, your love.
It's giving and taking, right? My friend gave him so much, of her time, her thoughts, her concerns - he doesn't give a shit. He doesn't even see it.
And what has he given back? Not a single sign of gratitude for her support, for her never giving up on a burden like him. A boyfriend who doesn't appreciate his girlfriend?
I'm sure loves in her some sort of way, but honestly his concept of love is rather poor and underdeveloped, when everything he gave her was just talk and entertainment. They had a good time on their trips, he has send her many presents. And now?
Every time he isolates himself like this, he shits on the presents he gave her. He has given her only aversion whenever she tried to approach him with his problems.
It's nothing more than some feeling of affection eventually.

And in the end, he is pulling both of them down. I know that my friend doesn't want to leave him, because without her he would be nothing. A partner for life who is a burden for most of the time? Is it really wise to decide to drag such a person through life? A person who relies only on others but doesn't even realize it over all his selfishness?
You don't allow yourself to suffer from such egoism.



Chu, Ailing

Nike Shoes (Feat. Dynamic Duo) - Beenzino

So long... wanted to update about skincare but it takes such a long time for my last product to arrive, so I have to write about something else in the meantime.
This is a fashion update instead!



I think you might know about these platform sandals already. They have been showing up since this summer only? (at least in Germany?), but in Korea I think people have been loving them for maybe 3 years already!
What I immediately think of when I see those shoes and the reason why I love them is, they absolutely remind me of the ninja shoes in Naruto!
Other than that I like that they don't look too girly and I really like this about Korean fashion. It is rather neutral/tomboy-ish cute, and preppy/sporty instead of plain sexy or girly. I think that's more classy and even chic, and at the same time very edgy.

So this post is meant to spread the love!


about the sandals are mainly very plainly designed, mostly with a few straps. mostly they are black or white, but there are beige/nude-colored ones as well. the platform is usually only a few cm high, with not much difference between the front and back heel. the platform itself can be in different neutral colors, such as gold, silver or see-through, it's mostly black (or white depending on the sandals) though.
point when buying watch out for pairs with straps, which are typical for sandals. if not, it can happen that u won't get the desired casual, laid-back effect, but something more and the dolly, girly site.
also a platform in the same color of the sandal will result more in a chunky overall look.
howto since these sandals have an casual charm it is better to pair them with casual basics, too. something like jeans + (wide) tees or anything else with simple cuts and neutral colors.
and also you can wear them with thin, ankle-length socks on chilly days (I know western people don't really do this, but it does look good and Koreans do it a lot)

over Nanda or yubsshop	over Topshop	over Nanda
over arooki	over Zara
over Zara	over Nanda	over Nanda or Yubsshop
over Urban Outfitters	over Nanda
over Zara	over yubsshop	Nanda or yubsshop
over yubsshop or Nanda	over yubsshop

I've mainly included Korean designs over Nanda or yubsshop, because there aren't too many of those in western stores, and because I was too lazy to check many other Korean shops, but I'm sure you can find many others on yesstyle.
Don't you too find that the feet look very elegant in those shoes? Or is it just me? I've recently bought pair #9


Chu, Ailing