Friday, 31 January 2014

abusing the app!! I realized that lately there are phases I'm feeling down, because I compare myself to others; a thing I've never done before and have always considered stupid.

But I guess ultimately, it's because I feel out of place while I'm imaging everyone happy and fulfilled. And it could be something as simple as envy, too. If it's that then I'm really to pity haha.

Nevertheless it's really unsettling still. When you are in a bad mood it's really funny how small things which normally aren't such a big deal can make you more and more down, like suddenly everything is adding up to a shitty life or sth the like.

Btw the light in our dungeon bathroom broke so I (was forced to) bathed w candle light. Somehow Cy and I live like real hobos.

GONG XI FA CAI!! Everyone enjoy the year of the horse! My wish for everyone is to find their place in life x

Cy's Rilakkuma whom I like to call Lil' Akuma, crazily ingenious pun, is it? Chillin' like a villain

Monday, 27 January 2014

I'm posting this while on the go again, right now I wonder if celebrity lifestyle is like this. Alone, on some tour bus, always going from one place to another.
Actually I just thought that not posting anything would be a waste of time, but I have really nothing I would want write about just like this on my phone. I have been noting down some thoughts of mine into my diary (eventually) and will blog about them in a free minute, when all the stress I'm going through now is over.

While sorting through my millions of drafts just now I found an uber ridiculous post about smelly life. I guess I'll post it some day just for a good laugh. It sounds like I fucking studied law haha
Also I miss how I used to write back then, many trivial rants, full of insults and slang~ I thought I had to write in a more mature way, because writing like dis is stupid la, but now I think I understand everyone should have his own style (as long as it's not totally retarded like smelly life's spelling chaos).

I'm a bit into weight-loss again and my problems are two:

/ whenever I have the choice between food or no food, I shit onto weight loss and eat

/ mostly I forget abt my diet plans and just eat normally, then lying in bed I'm like, 'I actually planned to skip dinner'

So what I really have to remind myself of is that this is a every second-challenge. Every second you have to decide between good or bad. Every second you have to be observant to your actions and conscious of your goals.

below pizza fait maison, just to see how pictures look when posted via app

Wednesday, 22 January 2014

I'm actually using the Blogger app to create this entry (explains the lack of images due to missing HTML mode which I would have omitted anyway this time round). Sometimes I wonder if it's a good (or even necessary) idea to write a few thoughts of mine down - be it to clear or make up my mind or in order to remember things later on. Mostly I decide it's not worth it (sometimes because I'm lazy), because we are going to forget most of it again anyway. At times I'm playing with the thought of jotting everything down in my physical diary, but then I reckon it's mere existence is ridiculous.
So this time I'm going to give it a try and note down here what's been in my head the past few days. Because this is a blog and it should be full of my personal heart wrenching (first world) problems. <s>So quick tell me how to lose weight the fastest way!</s>

(Ok intro so long already, kinda got sleepy and this is actually the second time I'm writing this, first time got deleted) Lately I'm very angry and kind of sad (? I'm not sure if I know or remember what sadness is (funny how autocorrect tried to make that 'dementia')) about my inability to say what I want!! I just don't know but it is so impossible for me! It has sth to do with my parents' education. I'm pretty positive and I usually never blame my parents for anything, because I'm not a person who easily blames everyone else. Especially when it comes to important things this is a very bad character trait! I feel extra bad about this because it's New Year and it should be in my (inexistent) resolution list, but I wouldn't even dream of it. I don't even bother to make one, it is all in vain #wearealldoomed (will lose some words about that around CNY btw). So these days I'm really upset with myself and it makes me restless and leaves me wondering how I should overcome this fear of mine. I actually never bring up stuffs that will make people feel bad or in this case causes arguments, as I know how uncomfortable it is. For one I don't like to speak up against (some) people, but another thing is I e.g. don't like to orally relive embarrassing stories of my friends on a party just to share a good laugh or to make fun of them a bit. Kinda like we are talking about really gay fashion trends which are just the epitome if uglyness and then I'm like, 'U. didn't u like that, too?' - 'What?! She liked this?' laughter - 'Yeah, she used to have a huge crush on this dude who always wears those in neon pink!!' - U:'that was back in middle school!' - more laughter - 'You even wrote this 15p love letter!' and the stories go on. I know many people who do this and it's actually no big deal and they don't mean any real harm, but I could never. And even this makes me feel a bit bad, because it is due to a weakness that I can't do it. (Were we in anime land this would make me the hero and lead character since it's not a weakness, love is no weakness it makes you strong!!!)

I don't know if I have said all that comes to my mind now. I really hope I covered all the thoughts concerning this. It would be very troublesome had I not, because I can't repeat the same matter over and over again, right?  I figured out other flaws that I have lately, but now that I'm all set to blog my heart out of course I can't think of one. So yeah, that's it, I wonder how long this got and if I should add a song or not....

Oh btw my roommate had a very funny and sick dream: she was possessed by the devil and idk had to torture other souls and enjoyed it or burnt in hell? Something like that. We are definitely watching too much Supernatural!!

Chu Ailing

Saturday, 18 January 2014

2번째 - 어떻게

요즘에는 많이 비 오면 좋겠다~ (이건 비가 오지 않기 때문이다)
나 공부할수 없고 어두워지고 있어요.

내 룸메이트와 방문하는 일본 친구가 스타벅스에서 커피를 마실때 나 공부하려고 집에 있고 있다~

나중에 두 사람을 쇼핑하려고 만난다.
뇌용 멘톨 담배를 필요한다 ㅋㅋ


Sunday, 12 January 2014


Candle 2 Blood Brother finally jump wagoning one the scented candles in a glass- trend. Which was kinda unwise b/c I hate perfume-ish smells, luckily this beautiful one comes w/ a cool silver lid! Cotton and wool headband &other stories a neutral-coloured headband to protect my ears from freezing over, since hats push my bangs into my eyes Lip balm - Orange Neon &other stories their make-up has awesome (silver) packaging! Despite its name/looks, the colour is quite sheer and thus leaving a fine vivid hint of orange on your lips
lipstick case I bought this one a whim, since black leather and it head no price tag on. 'Twas actually 20 USD !! Btw, I actually don't even know why lipstick cases exist in general... but it's cool Leather Mittens in Black Vintage Renewal Urban Outfitters I simply love mittens! There's something cute about them, but the tough material make them so mighty. I consider them to be perfect, so please let me keep them for a lifetime

LIBBY ankle boots Vagabond finally my pair of chunky smooth leather walker ankle boots after forever admiring them on Korean shops. Despite their height they're comfortable max, I feel like I can sprint in them (and beat you not, but that's another story) Triple Zip Clutch &other stories full grain black leather x chunky fashion item? Love! Plus I fancied clutches with handles for the longest time (actually since Angela Merkel's floating pink clutch, I don't intend to wear mine that way tho) Compact Styler Beloved Tangle Teezer (not pictured above) my friend had one and from it's unusual look I could already smell that this was sth special. I tried it out on my haven't-combed-for-ages hair and it went back to Mulan mode. So I got one myself and did I mention that I love shiny silver?

Some New In's (automatically equals fav's) from Christmas season. I don't know what got into me, but considering how I used to hate black leather (in particular black leather handbags, I couldn't imagine anything less classy back then) it's ridiculous I decided it's one of my favourite material not so long ago. Full-grain black leather even more. It must be the rebel in my soul that survived the age of the pink princess and now wants to bring out the bad ass biker. With lots of silver spikes, chains and other really hardcore stuff. Or how else can you explain the silver and black combination?
I feel more mature in all those quality materials and grown-up colours, a trait I certainly lack in and don't know of I should work on since I always wanted to be a child even when I was a child. But maybe it's all slowly happening on it's own, just like the pink princess disappearing. I have the feeling that I have been (and still am) in a finding out what you really want and what your place in life is - phase and I can tell you, it hurts (my pride) to be so cliché.
Recently I planned to read more. I like to learn about other people's mind and I guess I'm missing out on many inspirational thoughts. If you know any good non-fiction, please let me know. And I decided to have a huge collection of books later on. Not really novels or purely non-fiction, but many picture books, to feed my love for photography. I really want to buy 광고천재 이제석 (Advertisement Genius Yi Jeseok) at the moment. He really sets new standards in the advertisement industry, but it's hard (impossible) to find copies.

Part 2 and 3 of the (around) Christmas new in's are planned, as apart from the pressies I also kinda splurged on many things.

Lastly, apologies for my awful skin tone (looks like zombie skin) and the obvious Park&Cube similarities, I rushed this one and am uncreative =/

Chu, Ailing