Spending all my time - Perfume

A first day back to the gym. It's only a trial session. But I guess it's settled that I get me another membership.
I should have an overall wish to stay fit and treat my body well for the rest of my life beyond just wanting to lose weight right now!
I only hope that the instructor will be totally normal. No weirdo~ /cringes


And because of that, I gonna have proper breakfast today. I don't want to faint or nearly faint at the gym ww
I even bought a protein bar in case I'll feel dizzy~ I actually need sugar, but protein bars are more gym appropriate than s'mores or cotton candy.

Btw you know what? I get satisfaction from watching porn!!!!
FOOD PORN wwww
I don't know how, but seeing amazing food pics on pinterest awakens only minimal cravings but more like oh so yum, I gonna cook that (for my family) once I reach my UGW- thoughts. I could browse through pinterest forever for these and still don't feel anything... I have reached food Nirvana! Buddha would be so proud.
Also because I don't feel no fucking hungry. Whole day no eat? Where' the problem... (I know I have mentioned this before, but it's to amazing to not say it a 2nd and 3rd and nth time)


I went browsing my tumblr yesterday (used to be some thinspo/ weight-loss diary) and find that it's funny to have a food diary and look back at it, so I'm going to resume that here.

About yesterday's food:

You probably won't hv noticed but until now, every line breaks begins with A or I #amazeballs

'BINGE' DAY 2

IN
DanActive 1 bottle 71
Mars bar 1 229
low-carb bread 1 slice 132
cream cheese 13
chicken breast 2 slices 26x2
strawberries with lots of sugar
onion/ham stick 1 405
TOTAL 902+

OUT
/

902+

COMMENT
WTF SO MUCH ww
If I allow myself one spluge per day then wtf are the strawberries (with lots of sugar) and that ham stick doing in the list...
Luckily I still lose the normal amount of weight..

I will add today's IN and OUT this evening after dinner and gym.
I try to spread my meals throughout the day to trick my body into thinking that there's always energy coming in, so it won't go on starving mode and store every atom of food I eat.

1st GYM DAY IN A LONG TIME

IN
raspberry - blueberry parfait 104 + 21.25 + 26.25 + 170
candy 108
low-carb bread 1 slice 132
cream cheese 13
chicken breast 2 slices 26x2
ice cream 149
TOTAL 775+

OUT
training 153
crosstrainer 589
TOTAL 742

33

COMMENT
Seriously ice cream?
Candy?
Now that's what I call ruining one's own work... scumbag brain la!
Well, nevertheless, pleasantly surprised...

Back from the gym after a shower/bath. Just had dinner and after that ice cream (thanks brain, again) still my intake today is really little, so please... let me wake up with my GW1 tomorrow!!
The guy at the gym was super over enthu, sunnyboy smile and all, I hate guys like that... You never know if they are serious... And there are really too many guys around...
But I guess I have to go through~


That's it for today! Tomorrow is eventful day!
Chu, Ailing

Nice To Meet You, Life - Need a Name

tee & shorts - adidas by Stella McCartney	bottle - H&M Go Gold	Halfmoon Magic - Le Specs
bat - New York Mets	Classic Redford - Gola	Duramo 3 - adidas
yoga mat, tights - adidas	tee - adidas Originals
tee - adidas Kids (similar)	tights - adidas Originals	bongo - WeSC X Mademoiselle Yulia

Err yeah... I swear I irl not that fat la!! www (walaoh confirm can see my collar bones onot? w)
But my thighs are damn fat... I still have to think about whether I register at the gym or not~ Waste of money HiAaZz...

The pictures are blur because my camera doesn't focus a white wall... not always... some pictures are sharp... I also don't know how to get that, but hey I managed to take the pictures without a tripod!!! (Secret: my legs got no shave www)
J and I literally went hiking through a forest and alongside country roads on the day we bought these~ Spent 200bucks!!

Today was splurge day with ice cream. Sitting in school all day long is soo frustrating and nerve-wrecking and it was such a warm day; I just had to buy ice cream and eat it!!!
Went a bit overkill and now I feel bad... #uncool

Sooner or later I will make it (the sooner the better tho), at least this Saturday got trial appointment.
Ok I end this post already. It was a super long day and I'm tired and lazy ww


Chu, Ailing

Condition Of My Heart - Fly To The Sky

cooking when J was here

A quickie from my phone.
The other day we suddenly were invited to dinner by Asian acquaintances. Surprising, because my parents don't play with anyone Asian actually.
At first I was very unwilling to go because I didn't bring any nice clothes nor anything cool to put on with me...

And when we arrived turns out they had a dinner party and there were other guests!

I don't like to mingle with other Asians (prejudices!). Well other unpleasant surprise: They had a chihuahua. I don't hv any prejudices against chihuahua, bt against Asians who own pets www It had a very weird name, sounded like 신라! Not Shilla or Sheila ww

Anyways one of the girls told my bro my mother and I looked like Japanese or Korean, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
But actually my bro also looks kind of Korean~
And she asked him if I was very spoiled because I asked my mother about lots of unknown food ww I'm a difficult eater~

But the girl also wasn't Miss Perfect, kept correcting people like grammar nazi~

So much abt the past events.

In lieu of recent events; HOW MUCH DO YOU GUYS DISLIKE TACTLESS FOLKS?

I know if anything it's (merely) an uber annoying thing but is it really hate-worthy?
Like it's actually only a small matter which happens due to some people's lack of thoughtfulness (or brains), so it is hard to blame them~

I once came up with a theory that people's misconduct can be divided into 2 categories:

• those that are done on purpose: arrogance, deception, avarice, deviousness, etc
• those that can't help it: choleric types, those who are always late, always run out of money, embarrass everyone with their weird behaviour, etc

I believed that one couldn't really be angry with the 2nd type of persons because they don't intend to harm anyone and often don't know how to help themselves...

But now I'm not sure... I think lacking sensitivity is especially complicated, because tact you can't even learn~ You either feel it or not.

Nevertheless I strongly dislike those kind of people because #&j)";$-@¢ they simple are such barbarians!!! Arghh~
They can't or don't think!!
I swear I will never marry even the most handsome or richest guy if he has no tact! At least I will try to teach him!! I cannot accept to be related with someone who is too dumb to use his brain a bit!!
Can you please put yourself in other's shoes? If you say that/ do that how will other people feel? or
Can you not think about other persons?
Honestly is it so hard?

E.g. It's dinner time. You just prepared the meals and are about to eat. The door bell rings and someone wanted to drop by for some random business. One invites them in and they stay at your place for a long time (long enough for the remaining persons to wait and for the food to get cold).*

In this story though it all being no biggie, 3 tactless things happen:

• deciding to drop by other's place in the evening hours/ during dinner time
• staying for a long time although you know the others were going to have dinner
• letting the guest stay for such a long time although you know the 3rd party is waiting for you to eat together and that the food is going to become cold

*Should this scenario resemble an actual occurrence then that's only due to my lack of imagination ty

As for me, honestly I would never forget or unthink such basic thoughts over the thrill of a visitor - come what may come, like it doesn't seem to be such a hard thing to do, right? If you had tact to begin with~
At least you say, 'Sorry this is taking a while, please go on eating. I'll be there in a minute'
If not then... If not then still no worries if such things happen very rarely. If happen often... May God be merciful unto thee~

I am normally a most tolerant person - like really, but I guess as for some things (which might not even be that evil) I just can't stand~
Stupidity, tactlessness, cowardice....

I try to take pics of my adidas haul and share with you later. Now that I got my cam back I want to share more visual stuff...

Btw I am travelling at night time once again, and it must be annoying to read incomprehensible stuff abt it, but one more time:
NOTHING more comforting than sitting in a warm and cosy spot travelling through the darkness with good music, and by that I mean Fly To The Sky - Condition Of My Heart!!! (´▽｀)

Also whenever I am w my family I cannot go on with my one meal diet~ And in order for me to finally make it I might really go to the gym again~
Only that it's such a waste of money and I don't intend to stay fit for a longer time www Just want to burn some extra calories until I reach my ugw (ultimate goal weight w)
OR I do Pilates (I have found a place) which is 12x more expensive, but the membership is not so long.... ah idk~

I kind of want to do a Jonghoon/ FT Island post next? Who's interested? ＼(^o^)／

Ok I end this post here. Don't feel like going on.

Chu, Ailing

As I promised the pictures of J and my dins yesterday.
We went to an Asian tapas bar. They had mostly Japanese dishes but also fusion food. It was fab and we had a fun time~
The whole place was super crowded and one of the waiters had hair like kpop idol haha. It was blond but with hints of red/pink and very wavy ww Another one had really platinum blond hair www

All in all it was a good day and on our way home the bus driver recognized us and asked J if we had a nice dinner. Walao guess what your customers do when they get off the bus is it? www


Ok I end quickly here... I'm watching FT Island's Korean lessons on NHK and my boys are so fab. LOVE
Chu, Ailing

たく！ the bus arrive too late and nobody has a clue abt what's going on... they actually hv my phone number to contact me when sth goes wrong, bt I nvr receive a message la...

anw today A. and I wanted to fool around a bit and tricked our friends into believing that we're back in sgp already.
bt then everything went wrong and they invite us to bday preparation meeting (sth like that?)
and everything turned out really awkward and we felt super bad www bt anyways so nice for them to still care so much ww
it will be a blast when we are finally finally back!!


so abt ytd I ate NTH and my hunger lvl this morning NTH
sth wrong w my body lar... bt still feel kinda weak so I snacked some candy ww

and just now I wanted to meet with hyung at Starbucks and I arrive on hour too early wtf!!
I dunno how ytd I type 3시 instead of 2 and nvr realize.. cheehh...

so I ordered tea first when waiting in order to get a hot chocolate later on, bt in the end only tea (with sugar)....
so today de intake still ok www

Later on J and I went to watch Spider Man SPOILER ALERT and the movie is actually good and all, but it's goddamn long-wided... like they could have make the movie half as long with as much tension, love and interesting story line. But now... everything took ten times longer because they had to add 100s of trivial events, etc...
But I really liked the Harry guy (taipuu ding ding ding!!!), so for me it was clear from the first second he appeared that he would turn evil... Oh the curse of rich, arrogant ikemen~ And his hair was just awesome, too www
Absolute fitting for a cocky, rich brat www... Alas~

OMFG I just googled it and the previous Harry Osborn was so disgusting WTF they picked curly, blonde beau /vomits
Walao too disgusting cannot talk about this anymore....
OMFG #2 people actually made pictures to compare the current Harry actor with Lenoardo di Caprio www I had exactly the same thought, they both have (had in the case of Leo) this fragile, sinister ikemen vibe~

anyway I'm happy the bitch died...


Today we want to go have dinner at a Japanese tapas bar, it's like fusion kitchen of tapas and sushi! Yum, I gonna feast like mad. Fuck this diet WW... (but seriously, like this cannot reach dw EVER)
I wanted to try this place out for a long time, but never got around to go... Now I finally have the chance to www
I will bring my camera (YES I got it back) and snap pics to share later on.

Tomorrow we want to go to adidas sample sale~ Please let there be lots of cheap and pretty stuff so I can gear up on sports clothes to finally get my ass moving (will not happen, but still~ w)


Ok, I get ready for dins now...bb
Chu, Ailing

Baby It's You - June

Things I want at the moment

• a decent gym (and nice training clothes www)
• a Vesta or Harley Davidson
• my dream weight

I just want a gym that offers Pilates or yoga or a combination, but no, got nothing like that near my house... /saddened
Ah the struggle www


And the Vesta/ Harley Davidson thing is very random. I always liked bikes and if I could ever drive those it would prove to myself that I'm not a wimp ww But I am. Car driving I hate already... And when I see people learning how to drive a motorbike I get the creeps just by watching ww
I like Vesta because they look really vintage and have this freedom feel to them... My cousin has a pink one (with Hello Kitty seat cover w). And Harley Davidson because that would be the ultimate bad-ass symbol.


Yes, yes I know my posts are super random and pointless, but I just have the urge to write everything down!
About my dream weight.. Would that scale be here I could at least know how far I am from it, but alas it comes but tomorrow...

it's tomorrow by now

In case anyone's interested: instead of studying I watched like 13 eps of 黒子のバスケ ytd .･ヾ(。￣□￣)ﾂ
I like Aomine, Tatsuya, Kagami and Kise! And I hate the stupid pervert glasses guy of Aomine, the two murder idiots, Alex and Kuroko!
Talking about Tatsuya's seiyuu ytd somehow led me to promising to watching Free!. HiAZz I gave it too easily. What I saw from Free! til now was not very promising. So I figured Haruka (please let that be his name~) is the protagonist and his character ist just... duh!? And then the Makoto (I even knew who this was by myself) guy is double pointless, the little boy absolute annoying and Rin (that one I also myself know, cuz he closest to my type) has the same mouth as inspector Yamamura WTF !!! what's going on with ikemen these days?!
In 黒子のバスケ, too the only obviously 100% ikemen is Tatsuya and he is like supporting side character only! Even Kise the beau is not ikemen... And Aomine and Taiga are only ikemen because of their personality (and ok-looks...)

Still have 4 eps to go... After that Free! (or not ww)



Today weather is super bright and warm and sunny and it makes me feel very Japanese! (Yes you read that right)
I've got the song 旅立つキミへ stuck in my head all day, cherry blossoms and all! BUT I HATE CHERRY BLOSSOMS!
Yes, I decided it's official, I hate pink flowers on trees.... I don't know how it's beautiful, it just seems to be spam to me...
Right now I can't even remember if I ever found them really breathtakingly picturesque at any point of time, but now I just think, ok it must be very refreshing and invigorating to see the streets decked in colours after a long grey winter and that's it.
The cherry blossoms itself, I hate...
Nevertheless I like the song very much!!


So after coming home from lab afternoon, I felt v tired and my room was incredibly hot because of the sun!
I went to fetch my scale somemore and it's..... hidoi.... but I'm not going to return it, because I also can't help it if the world consists of only ugly scale desginers wtf!
Anyway I still haven't reached my 1st gw (goal-weight in anorexic/ thinspo lingo), still need 0.8kg/ 1.76lb. Yet I'm still surprised.... Haven't been this skinny in a long long time..
My BMI now 19.... I need to lose a few more pounds... Ok more than a few...

That is also because ytd I (

how do you call this

) binged www Ok I had two maoam packs and like 2 fat slices of breads. Even so, the day before I only had one pack of maoams (I'm so ridiculous I know www).

It is better if I stay outside a lot (aka school) because at home I often eat out of boredom (in school when bored at least cannot eat) and outside I'm just not hungry because I constantly have sth to do.


Nah, anyway, I'm tired now, because I old lar.... I end this post here now.
(if now I seriously nap then need bitch slap pls.. thanks ar)

EDIT Didn't sleep, but went to take a bath!
Recently I, too, like to live very dangerously and use phone while I lie in the bathtub www Til now nothing happen (of course) but maybe some day will? ww

After that I feel a bit refreshed and now I study a bit.
Yesterday I was v angry w my parents. I notice that recently I get very upset when people suddenly change plans.
This is because I try to plan things that will make everyone have an enjoyable time according to people's plans, but when they suddenly change them, all my thoughtful thinking was in vain and it appears as everyone shit on my niceness /sobs /condemns the heavens

But now everything is OK and yeah just wanted to add this. kthxbye

Chu, Ailing