All my Love is for You, Promise - 소녀시대

My life is definitely like a movie! I should be an idealistic romantic character in some sort of (intelligent) romcom. Anw a word to my long MIA in twitter; I WOULD NEVER

really

QUIT BLOGGING AND EVEN NEVERER TWITTER, even if I'd hate to do it, I'd continue, cuz right now I'd hate myself for woulding doing it (this is no sentence, I know). As long as I live /sobs I will continue to do this /sobs /nice guy pose 一生の約束
But now, the storie(s) that caused and happened during my absence!
Oh yeah and my layout is down because my oh-so-awesome hoster decided that there was spam in my data bank or whatever. No worries!


I moved! And had no internet ever since! The only entertainment opportunity I had was my radio!! And the fridge... as long as I kept it filled with food. If not then I guess... a bed sounds nice too...
I live in a small apartment in a apartment tower, it's full of Indians and many Chinese people. It is actually quite nice, because we have beautiful light in here. Only our bathroom is a shame.


Better yet - we found out that we live next to - well guess. On our very first night, sometime past 8 a stranger rang our doorbell, we peeped through the spyhole, but only saw the silhouette of a stocky, shorter guy against the dark hallway. We freaked out and halfway locked ourself into Cy's bedroom. After a while I risked a further glimpse through the spyhole and saw the guy ringing the bell next door. He had turned on the hallway light but I could only see him from the side. Noone opened but he kept waiting until finally the light went out again. I held my breath and watched until he eventually turned on the light and rang again. This time they opened and he entered.
Our hearts were racing still hours afterwards. But first - can you guess what kind of neighbours we have?
How about this further detail: their super annoying loudly squeaking door opens up to 3 or 4 times per hour
Next story: Cy and I returned from the grocery and entered the building together with a man who happened to open the door in front of us. Although he waited until we entered, he hurried to the elevator, to take it before us. We took the next one and just when we entered the hallway to our apartment we saw him standing in the door of our neighbours. Talking to a women only dressed in underwear. They exchanged a few more words and then he left.

Soo? - Are our neighbours prostitutes or not? They are à deux and I kid(ded) you not when I said their apartment is being entered 3 or 4 times per hour. By men - only. Some men only stay for like 10 seconds, I guess they are giving them money, some men stay for a longer time. And yesterday I saw her again, standing at the apartment door, talking to a guy, obviously naked or nearly naked, but she hid behind the door before I could really see anything.

WTF 1st of all, I guess it's illegal to do those kind of stuff in a normal apartment, but what's even more astonishing is that, they don't even try really hard to hide it, do they? I think they repaired their friggin annoying door by now, but what's the use of that, if they only know how to slam it shut?
So yes, I live next to two prostitutes, is my life like a movie or not?


Not only that, but I think that the guy who lives above us is on LSD or sth. He listens to dreadfully loud electro crap at 5.30 in the morning !!! After giving a house party or sth like that the night before! Or whatever that is when you hear a bunch of people laughing and talking and from time to time the sound of a siren. Anyway, listening to music that is so loud that even the persons living under you can hear it - and by hear it I mean, I can nearly understand the words - is definitely a sign of sickness or LSD (or some other drug - have to confess, I'm not a pro) consumption. Anyway, it sucks, I tell you.


I don't really live in a ghetto, since there seems to be a surprising amount of really normal people staying in the same building and the neighbourhood is albeit far from picturesque, not of that really run down and disgusting type. In fact when you don't stand, but sit in my room, you only see trees (not the parking lot LOL) and with a setting sun behind them is has something of a tropical island sunset feel.


Another interesting story, the PayPal fraud.
Shortly after I moved I received this mail from PayPal saying a seller has filed a complaint against me (or however they call it). I was literally like WTF since I swear I have never sold anything in my life. Still, sometimes things happen and I don't know why, so at first I really doubted my memory, I couldn't even remember receiving the money (2.64USD). After twisting and wriggling this case for a while I found out that the buyer had paid for pants, which made it even more mysterious, because I couldn't think of any frigging pair of pants that I'd ever sell (or anyone would buy). I immediately thought that the 2.64USD must be some kind of refund so my brain checked that off and could forget all about it in peace. Still it took me a couple of days and a stupid convo with the buyer (are you sure you sent the money to the right paypal address? - just refund me my money) to realize that I had bought some shorts a time ago and they were smaller than in the description and I had asked for a refund of 2.64USD from the original price and the seller wanted to contact me again, but he never did and the next day I received 2.64 BUT from another person (which stupid me never noticed). I even tweeted about the whole story!! He obviously just wants the 2.64USD back and has the nerve to pull of such a dirty and disgraceful foul play. I wish he would be dead now.. or at least that I could still rate him, but it's too late.
Anyway, PayPal wasn't any help either, since hey - they don't read their messages or at least don't reply. So in the end after they didn't do anything, which basically means the buyer wins, I had to file a stupid complaint against the buyer - and only that did they read. So now if I got that right, they will refund the buyer, but with their own money and not mine. Uh-huh thanks, but the buyer needs a head shot and not the money. I'm honestly intending to buy sth from yisaiyibei18 again only to give him fatal rating.
Oh and the whole time I couldn't pay for a certain item, because PayPal withheld the 2.64 from my account. The weird thing was that I could buy two items from Germany, but not this specific one. Although they said, my balance was in the red, so I could balance that with my credit card. Which I did twice while doing the two German purchases. In the end I manually transferred money to my PayPal account (sorry if this is getting a bit economic-ish), but I still couldn't friggin pay! Also my minus grew to 2.66 !! I panicked and thought that they are charging interest -
BUT the indeed splendid deduction work I performed here revealed the following: the minus increased because of the ever changing currency exchange rate and I couldn't pay because I had a plus in euros, but still a minus in US dollars, that's also why I could pay the German stuff, but not this ebay business. I had to exchange the Euro, resulting into +/- 0 Euro and + in dollars. (Does that make any sense?)

Who's telling you shits like that normally, please? I mean if I hadn't done any of these, I'd lost 2.64USD, some stupid Chinese motherfucker would be encouraged to fuck around and I'd have gotten negative buyer ratings in ebay somemore! Eh?! /flips table



A last one: I was on the road (again) with Cy (again) and the Japanese crew. We were sitting in a train, when suddenly a drunk homeless old men entered our compartment, his pants down. I couldn't believe it and luckily his jacket was too long to see anything, but he actually sat down next to one of us. Oh My God, just when everyone started to silently freak out, a tough conductress entered and started to yell at the homeless guy and asked us all to leave. Gosh we were so happy that someone came to our rescue and all hushed into the next compartment. The conductress gave the man hell and then went to our compartment to call one police station after the other. They were all busy. After a while she left and I sat there with my shopping bags next to me and Cy and Mika behind me. I started to read the InStyle when I suddenly heard a yell and looked up: the disgusting hobo was standing at my seat, trying to figure our a way to sit on my shopping bags!!! I was so paralyzed with shock and fear that I could only stare at him, luckily the conductress saw him leaving the compartment she had reserved for him and once again chew his ass out. He obeyed and left, but my chest still felt like it would implode for the whole night and I felt so nauseated the whole time, that I was seriously close to throwing up when they said that our train was running late and because of every little jolt it made. I've rarely experienced such a big mess man.




This concludes the fantastic tales of the last 3 weeks (or has it been 4?). Maybe my life isn't soo boring after all... Except for the PayPal thing, everything could be taken out of a uselessly over-dramatic movie.

See you soon, with a hopefully returned layout!
Chu, Ailing

Old Friends (Extended Version) - The Hobbit

I have been IN LOVE with Scandinavian design/ interior lately - mainly white surfaces, either combined with wooden elements or colourful accents here and there.
Just take a look at my drop dead awesome pins please

others ramble about their beautiful tumblr, for me pinterest does the thing

So, give me a bright room (best in an old building with hight ceilings), add a bit of dark metal industrial style stash to it, and my personal variant of the Scandinavian style - put some dark sclerophyllous plants in there and I'm in I also like simple paintings or surreal photographs

I developed a real special taste in beds over the last few days. Actually my friend made me got interested into those kind of beds (I know - Oh.My.God is that gerl talking about beds?! - yeah I am). I like those more lower styles with no higher bed-ends. And since slanted legs are in right now (50s kind of table legs and so on) I really like those, too.
I think beds like that with real thick mattresses and pillows and blankets and quilts (just generally a lot of soft stuff dumbed on top of it - so it looks kinda messy) has this pure sort of naughtiness to it, that I really fancy Yeah I'm that sort of person... (weird, not naughty ).


But I'm still pretty despised by how I could suddenly like such purist junk, like seriously - where is the fun? And why so act sophisticated and high class?
I used to hate people like that and now look at me - I am what I (used to) hate . The thing which bugs me most is that it's just so mainstream.



I started this post to add a bit of variation the endless picture posts, since it isn't really me to run a picture blog so, adding content by doing

αʹ☆ｚｉｌｌｉｏｎ of reasons why I'd be a bad girlfriend 나쁜 여자친구 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

• I hate chocolate, so no giving me chocolate fucks as a present.
  
  
• I hate flowers, so drop that, too
  
  
• I'm SUPER HYPERSENSTIVE to touches!! And the worst areas are at my back around the armpit area (which isn't so bad since no one really touches you there), my waist (absolute no-go relationship-wise I guess), and thighs (again no-go).
  I either screech or make some sort of weird gasp-moan when someone touches my waist, be it girl or boy. And no you can't tell me beforehand, it only gets worse if I know. PLUS once you start it, I get paranoid and will gasp every time you move your hand and won't walk in front of you anymore for like the rest of the day. Word.
  
  
• I hate talking over the phone and I don't think that would change even if I fall in love with someone.
  
  
• I love being at home, sitting in front of my PC, doing online shopping, watching anime, blogging, surfing, watching videos of FT Island - in short: I don't have time for you.
  
  
• I HATE clingy males, those who text all the time, who get that I hate it and then pretend like they don't care but they do, those who say their gf is the most beautiful girl in the world, and all that, it makes me puke.
  And all that I can do is just ignore, since I'm so disgusted. I can't even describe it. I never text those persons back, even if they suddenly change or whatever - it's over, so baby goodbye

  guess, tsundere type is really my thing

  
  
  
• I think I'm going to abuse my boyfriend money-wise. I think I won't be able to resist. And if he doesn't like it, begone!
  
  
• I'm so lazy, I don't comb my hair. And generally neglect my looks often enough.
  
  
• I'm just so adamant. I don't get angry easily and very rarely, but if you finally succeed in making me angry, then I know no mercy. I will do sth to that other person (in the past that ranged from spilling juice over so's meal, spilling a can of sugar across the table, throwing 3 sets of poker cards around the room to ruining a DIY work and running away after that). I could imagine throwing TVs out of the window like in the movies...
  
  
• This goes hand in hand with me being totally polarized. I'm rarely something in between or find something ok, I either hate it or love it. Which I guess can be very exhausting for others.
  
  
• I'm generally super childish.
  
  
• I am an unapproachable bitch. Try to allusively flirt with me and I show you how the coldest shoulder in the universe looks like. Or how someone can vanish into thin air like they never existed. As much as I hate clingy males, I'm also grossed out by compliments and chat-ups in general. That's why I either respond with a scornful look that literally screams 'I AM NOT INTERESTED FUCK OFF' or flee.
  I'm so horrified by flattery that actually sometimes my brain intermits and I don't hear what that person says and just stare blankly into their face until I gather myself, utter a small thank you and make a break for it.
  
  
• I'm that buddy type of girl. Since I don't like boy-girl akwardness (that's how I perceive initial relationships) I pre-emptively friend-zone everyone, which is how I ruin every chance of advances. It's relatively easy since I have many boy-ish interests. You just don't hey chica anyone who laughts about the same insider joke you have with your bros.
  
  
• I think I will always be a fangirl.
  
  

Hmm, I think that's it. I will do why I'd be a good girlfriend next time, because - let's be honest - (sadly) we ain't anime, so there aren't those kind of girls who totally AREN'T designed to be with someone. (You know, those relationship-resistent hidden gems~)



I'd also like a cat - greetings
Chu, Ailing

Sentimental♥ - 서로

Would I be a more conventional kind of human this post would have been named Berlin Part 1. I also can't say that this was the obligatory annual summer vacation trip, haven't had any of these for years (at least it feels like that). So instead we went on a Summer 13 CY BDAY Trip. Last time I celebrated her birthday with her was when we were 11 or 10 I think. Being born in summer has the disadvantage of many friends being on holidays, so yeah... I actually have been away on her birthdays for almost as long as we know each other (^-^*)
We also recently noticed that most of the time we spend together is on public transport! Be it train, tube/subway, plane we always hang out on those kind of chic venues. Must be the reason why we are tired all the time, too - always on the move honestly.

Anyway, I can finally tick Berlin off my bucket list! Ok I have been to this city for several times already, but never really exploring it for myself. Now that I have wandered through it by myself I feel more or less satisfied with the sightseeing shopping/eating experience I had there. We managed to see a good amount of the important sights under the motto Don't Culture Me (What's Checkpoint Charlie btw?)

What I can tell you is that the guy working at Makoto has a really スケ~~ voice. Like really.


Chu, Ailing

술 - Fly To The Sky

What I honestly admire about others is their ability to judge food. For me it seems to be such an impossible task as to distinguish the whisper of trees. That is to say, I almost like every kind of food and if I didn't like it, I wouldn't notice it until someone looks into my eyes and slowly says, 'the - noodles - are - still - uncooked' - '...now that you say it....'
I find that pretty sad, but with some things I'm kinda unobservative. Still, I don't lack personal eating preferences, it's quite the contrary. I somehow have a quite unusual taste: I hate egg yolk, grilled meat, chocolate, pork - and I know the flavor 'earth' and 'carpet'. (My favorite fast food are fries and cheesburger though...)

So, I think having so delicate a tongue is quite impressive, but at the same time, it's seems to be such a mainstream, act-sophisticated behaviour. The internet is flooded with food pics and everywhere people claim about the salad being not tender enough or having found a place where the noodles are even more juicy than place B (sth like that ㅋㅋ). It is in my oppinion weird that out of all things that people have achieved in industrial countries, a strongly refined perception of food is so popular and admireable and in fact viewn as a trait of higher life. One would think that further cultivated people prefer concentrating on other things to something as materialistic as food. It doesn't seem too different from a Stone Age savage getting ecstatic over an unkown species of slimy mushrooms.

Why don't we all get horny over big breasted women and well-hung men as well? With that said, who wants see an ikemen pic I shot of one of the oppas?
I have another one with full face, but I don't really like to reveal identities on this blog, so... maybe if someone desperately needs to see it.



Chu, Ailing

P/S I do like food pics nevertheless

Be With You - 清水 翔太 ft Joe

Noticed that I haven't been updating much about my life recently (not that I ever did). The thing is, my life is pretty event-less and I don't like to talk about future things either, as it's really stupid to announce that you are going to marry Jonghoon next month and then one day before the wedding you find out that you're a stone and he's the sun, and you two will never be able to be with each other (or sth similar).

With that said - there are some semi-big things in the pipeline and if those are going to work out as intended, I will start to vlog a bit.
I'm saying semi-big because it's totally not my dream thing to happen, but it goes into the same direction


But I think vlogging will be fun, because normally I'm a very reserved (ok, let's face the truth - people-hating) person and don't like to take part in sociality too much. And I think my voice is like men's voice. And I have issues with the face I own.
But I still want to do it, I just have to buy a virus mask and I actually know which one is just the perfect one. Sakun's super slick trademark monster mouth mask. Since when do I want to have that mask? I don't remember, but it's been some years. There are many others stuff from Sakun that I like, but this mask is really the real thing.
I guess I have to buy a cute one, too, because this mask doesn't really go along with my homewear stuff



I did blog about having caught some terrible skin desease right? Well, to keep things realistic, it's just that my skin got some terrible sort of allergic reaction to sth (my cousin's bunnies I think) and since then it has never been the same...

First I had super many zystic sort of spots all over my cheeks, that turned into horror-acne, which has only gotten a bit milder towards the end. And the whole time my face was super red. But after the acne has gotten slightly better I got little bumps all over my face. They were sort of small so they can't be seen under certain light, but neverthelesss it was super annoying. I felt like I had gotten the plague or sth.
Eventually I got Epiduo prescribed and I have been using it for about 2 weeks (?). Epiduo is an acne-treating gel which works with benzoyl peroxide (and adapalene). As you might or might not know peroxide has a bleaching ability (Epiduo can even bleach hair and clothes) and the gel also has some scaling effects. So at first when I used it, my skin became super dry, I had gross, large patches of dry skin all around my chin and jaw bones (where I used most of it, since my bumps where concentrating on that area) and my skin really stinged after I applied it. Plus it got worse and the bumps increased and spread up to my cheeks.
I then realized that I might have used too much of the gel and now I'm using what I imagine is the recommended pea-sized amount. What's funny is that, since the gel has bleaching effects, I now have to leave the house completely covered up with large sunnies, broad-brimmed hats and how about a virus mask? Would look super weird, but it somehow makes me feel so Asian. I mean - avoiding the sun like crazy is Asian, so I like it ㅎㅎ

Anyways now that I use less of the gel, the bumps have gotten slightly better, too. The problem is I don't know if that's my skin's condition improving (from multiplying, spreading bumps to less bumps) or being as horrible as before (bumps), because while I used too much of the gel I didn't get any new pimples, but now I get those again .

my skincare produtcs atm, apparently blue and green are the colors to go for if you want acne treatment
++ my mother stole my camera that's why the crappy pic, I might retake it with my cam once I find it and label the items if anyone is interested ++

The reason why I blogged about this is I super love the idea of things slowly getting better, I'm sort of romantic, blue-eyed, naive and utopian when it comes to such things.
I hope that one day I can have the fair, even 얼짱 skin OTL.


Chu, Ailing

P/S I somehow feel super uncomfortable with a describtive title like this ㅠ

사랑의 시 - 4Men

I'm actually totally not in the mood for colorful summer pictures and everything, but I don't want to be a spoilsport either (not that anyone would care ).
Also I have like a million of other things going on in my life just now and enough topics to think about, but this is one of them and I need to get this cleared, too, so why not post about it.

This is another issue of my αʹ☆ｚｉｌｌｉｏｎ line, which basically are just lists of things about me
Today's subject: αʹ☆ｚｉｌｌｉｏｎ of appearance-related complexes

I actually developed many complexes over the years, which all concern outer appearance. Now that I think about it, I don't have any other complexes related to mental problems... What's typical of my complexes is they mostly concern features that I dislike about myself. And so I automatically scan those features on others first, before I pay attention to anything else. I might even hate them on others more than on myself.

Chronologically listed:

1. face shape what really triggered this is Korean v-line obsession I think. what created the basis is my mother.
   
   She has a super square face, which partly comes from her genes I think, plus she's also grinding her teeth. And when I was younger, or maybe even now, she would tease me by saying 'oh, what a square face you have!' or 'why is your face so squaare?' I didn't really mind, because I always thought she wanted to allege that I'm fat. Now, if she'd say it, I also wouldn't take her too serious, because luckily I'm Asian, but my face is actually rather v-shape (although still quite wide)
   
   
2. fat lips trigger: an allkpop post about Niel's sausage lips. basis: my parents
   
   Ok, so also when I was younger, both my parents would always tease me about my fat lips, which I got from my father (although his lips aren't really fat). Especially when I woke up, they'd make fun of me by saying that I have the biggest pout ever. I didn't give a damn about those comments back then until I read this stupid allkpop article. I then thought that boys aren't suppose to have fat lips and that's how it started. Whenever I see boys w fuller lips it gets very hard for me to like them, e.g. Exo's Kai, Shinee's Taemin, TVXQ's Changmin (ok someone has a SME issue). (my father used to resemble Changmin when he was younger btw) I don't really know if I should like them on girls, though. Most people think it's sexy, so I'm kinda saying to myself, that it's a cool thing. But then again, I kinda hate them, too.
   
   
3. eyebrows trigger: Korean eyebrows. basis: none
   
   so this has to be my biggest complexe! I absolutely hate it when people don't have neat eyebrows. And I semi-absolutely hate it when woman have super angular eyebrows (like most Westeners have).
   I think in the very beginning I thought super triangular eyebrows just make you look like a bitch. Therefore I called them 'bitch eyebrows'. It was one of the things I hated about this world. There are people who hate prostitution other detest injustice, well as for me it's bitch eyebrows. But at that time, it was just hatred.
   I noticed at some point of time that Koreans don't pay attention to their eyebrows at all and that they just look like fresh out of Stone Age, but I didn't really care about how eyebrows affect your face at all and it was just this insignificant observation. Then suddenly Koreans started to shape their brows without me really noticing and I saw my first Korean eyebrow tutorial. I loved it! But I didn't care that much about my own eyebrows until my friend said that she thinks short (Korean) eyebrows make your eyes bigger.
   Around that time I looked at my own eyebrows and noticed, 'Hey, I have none!' (inherited from my father as well, but can't complain, I also inherited hairless legs from him).
   My current state is: a) I wish I had more eyebrows so that I wouldn't look so plain and harsh. b) Men who have neglected, overgrown eyebrows are horrible (I don't want men to really plug them obviously, but male idols have nice eyebrows w/o looking artificial, too). c) Women with rank growth eyebrows are horrible, but I find it worse on men somehow.
   Recently, I have been thinking about shaving my eyebrows completely away, to see if they'll grow back thicker, but I heard that sometimes they won't grow back ever again, so I guess I have to live w my sparse upper eye hairs
   
   
4. hands/fingers trigger: none basis: my mother
   
   I don't know at what time I got that, but my mother is kind of Asian aristocrat, so she always pays a lot of attention to (female) hands. And hers a quite nice, and mine are, too. But you know, the more you pride yourself on sth, the more likely you are to criticize it or talk it down. Like you create a painting which you find absolutely perfect, but hmm - there, this cloud it could have a more harmonic shape to blend more beautifully with the sky.
   So what I find really uncool about my hands is that lately my veins pop out look construction worker hands lah! And my hands are freaking white and my veins are fat and blue Also my fingers are not slender, but they are thicker were the joints are like the Elder Wand and I find it absolutely un-pretty, I tell ya. I once looked up the meaning of that palmistry-wise and it's not bad (I think), but I still hate them.
   So when I see idols with ugly hands I get friggin agressive (on the inside ) and rail against my fate for not being an idol with so much prettier hands

I used to have a leg-related complexe which caused me to always compare unknown women's legs That pretty much went away, I still dislike my legs, but it's nothing like the problems I mentioned above

Ok, so that's it... My parents appear like devils who push all their expectations and dreams onto their kids (which isn't so entirely wrong) and therefore ruined my young life


Chu, Ailing